I’m sure you pray. I can imagine as a youth leader you pray before meetings. During times of worship. In your personal devotions. With young people during times of ministry.
The question is not whether you pray but why you don’t pray more.
We know that prayer is central to our relationship with God. Yet, so often it receives the leftovers of our time and energy. Why in the quiet spaces of our own lives, can prayer sometimes feel irregular, rushed, or thin?
Here are a few honest reasons.
The mystery of prayer
There is bound to be mystery in trying to converse with someone who you can’t physically see and touch (John 4:24), who is beyond your comprehension (Job 11:7), holy (Isaiah 6:3) and perfect in every way (Matthew 5:48).
When we converse with the person of God there is no physical presence in the space or audible voice to be heard. Seldom do people describe their daily prayer experience like that of Isaiah who “…saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple…Then I heard the Lord asking…” (Isaiah 6:1;8). “God is Spirit” (John 4:24) and when He speaks, we’re not always certain if our mind made it up or our stomach grumbled.
We approach prayer with the hope that our encounter with God will be similar to what we read about in the Bible. That it would include burning bushes, angelic visits and vivid images of Heaven. Instead, our prayer times are often more akin to a one sided conversation, filled with mind wonderings, distractions and the neighbour’s barking dog.
It is reasonable to ask, “God are you really here? Are you really listening?” It is understandable to wonder, “Am I doing it right?”
You’re not the first to wrestle with the mystery of prayer. Moses’ desire to see the glory of God is met with been hidden in the crevice of a rock as God passes by (Exodus 33:18-23). David declared, “O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way?” (Psalm 13:1). Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46).
Augustine of Hippo famously wrote, ““If you understand it, it is not God.”
Each time we pray, we step into the mystery of God.
A hurried culture
There is also the cultural air we breathe.
Spot quiz.
- How many times this week did you say, “I’m busy” or “I’m tired”?
- How many times this week did you feel rushed or overwhelmed?
- How many times this week did you mindlessly scroll?
- How many times this week did you ‘run out of time’?
Yup, you’re not alone.
In The ruthless elimination of hurry, John Mark Comer quotes Walter Adams, the spiritual director to C. S. Lewis:
“To walk with Jesus is to walk with a slow, unhurried pace. Hurry is the death of prayer and only impedes and spoils our work. It never advances it.”
Hurry is the death of prayer.
This line exposes something uncomfortable. We don’t avoid prayer because we don’t desire a deeper walk with God. We avoid prayer because we are distracted. Our days are full. Notifications buzz. Messages wait. Programmes need planning. Young people need care. Our to-do lists never quite end. The momentum of modern life does not carry us toward prayer.
Unless we intentionally resist that cultural momentum, prayer will always be squeezed to the margins, which brings me to the next reason.
A lack of intention
We understand that growth in almost every area of life requires time and discipline. If you want to learn guitar, train for a race, or complete a tertiary degree, you accept the rhythm of practice.
We are so resistant to this idea though when it comes to our walk with Jesus. Maybe the words ‘practice’ or ‘habit’ or ‘discipline’ give rise to fears of legalism and seem contrary to being ‘led by the Holy Spirit’ and don’t sit well in your church tradition or personal experience of faith. However, Jesus is the one who invites us into these rhythms of grace.
Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life….” (John 14:6). At the end of the Sermon on the Mount he said this way of life is something you have to “put…into practice” (Matthew 7:24). The Apostle Paul admonishes us to “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12 Emphasis added).
Dallas Willard said, “Grace is not opposed to effort, it is opposed to earning.”
Although we are saved by grace (Ephesians 2:8-9), entering the abundant life Jesus promised (John 10:10), requires intentional effort.
A deeper prayer life is always (and only) one decision away.
A neglect of the interior life
Soak in this statement: Youth leaders tend to live outwardly.
Here’s what I mean by that.
There is always a focus on teaching, planning, organising, mentoring, troubleshooting. When you think about yourself and your leadership, it is often in terms of productivity. What’s next on the list?
Now, this is not all on you because very few ministry contexts create space to examine our interior life.
Think about it. When was the last time someone asked you how your soul is doing? Not your ministry outcomes. Not your attendance numbers. Your soul.
Prayer lives first in the interior world of a youth leader and becomes collateral damage when we don’t create space for the Holy Spirit to ‘search’ and ‘know’ and ‘test’ and ‘point’ and ‘lead’ (Psalm139:23-24).
Without the regular examination of our interior life, pray falls away or at best becomes mechanical and superficial.
The obstacle of pride
It can also be difficult to admit that we struggle here. To say, “I find prayer hard,” can feel like confessing weak faith. Not something leaders like to wear.
And yet the disciples began exactly with this admission.
“Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1).
Reason enough
All the above are some pretty good reasons not to prayer more.
But remember, God has given us faith to enter the mystery of pray. He has called us to be in but not of the world (John 17:14-17). We have been given free will to make decisions and not be swayed by the hurried culture of today. And He has given us the Holy Spirit as a guide to our interior examination.
All that’s left is for us to set aside our pride and say, “Lord, teach me to pray.”
