Over the past twenty-five years in youth ministry, I’ve asked myself countless questions: What icebreaker should we do this Friday night? What theme should we focus on for camp? Am I truly equipped to lead these young people? But of all the questions I’ve wrestled with, the one I keep returning to—and the one I believe lies at the heart of youth ministry—is this: How do we help young people grow into maturity in their faith?

Over the next few posts, I’ll be exploring this question in depth, starting with a concept many of us are familiar with: discipleship.

Discipleship: More Than a Buzzword

If you’re involved in youth leadership or ministry, discipleship is probably a term that comes up often. We know it’s important. Most of us would say it’s central to our calling and responsibility as youth leaders. But here’s the challenge: while we may have well-formed intentions and even strong theories about discipleship, the real test is our practice.

What does discipleship actually look like in our youth ministries? What do our programs and environments reveal about our understanding of it?

Because in many ways, our programs reflect our theology.

Imagine visiting a range of local churches and observing their youth activities. You’d quickly begin to see how each church interprets and applies the concept of discipleship, whether intentionally or not. Because even if we say discipleship is central, the way we do ministry says a lot more than our statements ever could, and are our current discipleship practices creating a foundation for young people to grow into maturity in their faith?

Begin With the End in Mind

Stephen Covey’s principle—”begin with the end in mind”—is helpful here. If we want to be intentional about discipling young people, we must first ask: What does maturity in faith actually look like?

Jesus offers profound insight in Luke 14: before building a tower or going to war, one should count the cost and plan accordingly. In the same way, we should define what we hope to see in a young person. Not in a superficial or programmatic sense, but in their spiritual transformation.

Ask yourself: If a young person committed to your youth ministry from Grade 7 through to high school graduation, regularly attending weekly gatherings, Bible studies, church services, camps—what would you hope to see in them at the end of that journey?

A Picture of Maturity

For me, the clearest picture of spiritual maturity comes from Matthew 22:36–40. When asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus replied:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind… and love your neighbour as yourself.”

This is what maturity looks like: a young person growing in their love for God—heart, soul, and mind—and allowing that love to shape how they love others. Not a shallow, feel-good love, but a love rooted in the life and work of Jesus Christ and made possible by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Can you picture it? A teenager transformed by God’s love, actively extending that love in their family, school, and community—not out of obligation, but from the overflow of relationship with God.

This to me is spiritual maturity.

What Maturity Is Not

Notice what I didn’t say.

Maturity isn’t just showing up to every youth program. It isn’t just about behaving well. It isn’t about becoming a leader. While those things may be signs of commitment or leadership potential, they don’t always equal spiritual maturity.

Sometimes we confuse involvement for transformation. But they’re not the same.

So… Are We Seeing It?

If we hold that vision of maturity in mind (a young person who is deeply loving God and loving others), are we seeing it happen in our churches?

Honestly, in most cases, I’d say no.

There are certainly pockets of growth, individual stories of transformation, and young people who are flourishing in their faith. But as a broader trend across local churches, I believe we’re missing the mark. We are not effectively discipling the majority of our young people into mature followers of Jesus.

Where Do We Go From Here?

There’s a quote often attributed to W. Edwards Deming that says:

“Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it gets.

In other words, if we’re not seeing maturity in the faith as the outcome of our youth ministry efforts, maybe it’s time to take a hard look at our programmes and practices.

What are we doing or not doing that shapes those outcomes?

In upcoming posts, I’ll be sharing more about a formation practice I’ve been using called Reflective Shared Experience, a methodology that I believe holds something valuable for the discipleship of young people today.

But for now, I leave you with this question:

What do you envision when you picture a spiritually mature young person in your context?

What would it look like if the young people in your group were truly growing into the likeness of Christ?

Let’s begin there.